Stop the world, I need to get off

It appears that I haven't posted in a long time. To be honest, I just forgot to do so.
Anyways, what have I been doing?

Programming(in Warcraft 3 of course)
Programming
Brainstorming
Programming
...

Boring to anyone but me.

I have also realized how much math it takes to make a proper game. This doesn't only mean formulae. Math is a way of thinking, not a subject. 

Some more about me.
In some sense I am crazy. Well, I definitely ain't normal, but there's more to that. I am a splintered person. Having dual personalities is far under me.
Today I was talking to a person about it and I realized that the reason why people are rarely capable of annoying me is that at some point I mute them(figuratively). Just like I mute the voices in my head. Afterall, conscience is also just another voice in your head.
When I'm dead-sure that I am right, then I don't let people change my mind. It doesn't happen often, but it happens.

Thoughts:
The school system gives you exactly what it has to give, but rarely in an acceptable format...
Every person has their own kind of charity. Namely the one that they didn't get.
If you can understand the lyrics of a song well enough to complain over them, then the music is not good enough. 

/Xonok, the one and lonely. 

Memories of the days gone past

Tonight I was looking through my previous writings. None of this blog yet, but those that I have in google drive.
I am simply amazed. It might sound egotistical, but I HAVE written well. I want to write more like that. It's like reading the perfect book, except that I am the one to write it.
It's pure heaven.

And I haven't slept tonight, which is what I meant with the first word of this post.
But I am not tired, far from that. I am active and anxious. I want to write. I did write.
I am a machine of ideas. A machine for ideas.

Within the last few days I have learned to direct and control my imagination. I can now inspire myself, so that I won't be as dependent on spontaneous inspiration as I used to be.
Hopefully it helps. Hopefully it doesn't mean that I will write some crap. I really hope I won't, as writing is more than a hobby for me. It's life. I live to write and if I live, then I must write. Just like I wrote over 8 months ago. Maybe even before. I have once again become poetic, as one might see by my grammar style.
Btw, not even the almighty Google can find any grammar mistakes in my writings anymore. I am now officially capable of writing in American English.

Now some stuff that I can't just stop myself from writing. Nor would I want to.

"Dispersed phrases everywhere. I remember how well I have written. I WANT to write more, if my writings can be good. " - Me at Here.

Give me love and I give far more back...

/Still looking for more, never letting it fall. This is my lore. This is all.
proudly, Xonok the Endorian

Not for the weak-eared

I think that this song is awesome. However, it's considerably heavy. Even for me. So don't say that you haven't been warned.

/People can only judge what they see - Xonok

A screaming story

People like things that they can understand.
Often they even love things that they would hate if they didn't know.
I've realized, that I've come to this point with screaming(musically).

I was perhaps 12 when my sister's boyfriend showed me slipknot. He had showed a few songs when I said that it's too heavy for me. What I mean't was the screaming.
Then he showed me Duality.
This sort of opened my eyes.

 A little at first, but eventually I was with Escape the fate.

Then some months past that I couldn't really say much about. The next point that I remember clearly is that Ronnu showed me some bands that I considered very heavy at that point. It's amazing, because... I don't think so anymore.
Among them was Black Veil Brides. I especially disliked this one. However, that was only until I found out who their singer really is as a person.
Black Veil Brides is said to be named like that because the singer is religious. A black veil bride is a nun - a person that has given up all earthly pleasures to reach higher goals. It sort of made me realize who I'm dealing with. I got MENTALIZED... Umm, okay then. Well I found out his mentality... End of story.

After that point I came back to escape the fate(and some others that I hadn't listened much to), but this time the table was turned. This time the screaming brought me back. Why? Because screaming clears out the mess that always exists in a human mind and THAT makes it possible for people to really hear the beautifully sang lyrics. Those that aren't screamed...

Now I am training my voice. Both for singing normally and screaming. While searching for help in youtube I came across this. Which is, at the moment, the one I consider one of the best.

 I guess someone knows a lot more about me know. I hate mysticism... as long as I'm not the one creating it :D

Change

I feel that a change is impending. What's yet to find out is what that means.

I saw the Nymph once again and probably for the last time in a long period. It was worth it, though, as I might be able to have peace thanks to this. So insideish talk...

Btw, stereotypes aren't always wrong. It's just that nowadays new stereotypes are forming. People are mixing up both mentally and physically. It's just a matter of time until things seem to make sense once again.

What about me? I'm chill.

What is Eurondar?

Since this is the name of my blog I can bet that many have wondered about this. I've decided that I'll just write it all down.

First of all, Eurondar is my dreamland. It's completely separate from any real world object and rule.

I am Xonok of Eurondar. Thus, I am an Endorian. Simply because Eurondarian sounds awkward to me. Endorian can mean anything that comes from that world. In my case it's the mindset - My thoughts seem as if they were from a different world.

Don't know what more to write.

Just wondering...

I think I shouldn't be so... low? I don't know what the word is for that. What I mean is that I don't think I should be so modest. It's stopping me from succeeding in quite about everything. I lack the confidence.
Yes, I might seem like a very active and daring person, but I really ain't. I'm socially active, but not ambitious enough.
Today I discovered it in a quite unexpected way.
I got really angry at a certain person. Most will never see what I do when I'm angry, as there's only 2 people that can considerably disturb me.
Anyways, when it was over once again I noticed, that my voice is a lot closer to bass. I also had less trouble with pronouncing some letters that I usually can't pronounce very well in English.
I really should get a voice recorder... Then I could really know how I sound. Currently I simply don't know and thus may sometimes be hard to understand.