Alpha

For over a year I've been aware of a mental state that I sometimes have. I call it "alpha", because its characteristics make me think of leadership.
Alpha feels like a somewhat angry state. The kind of state where I hate everyone and everything because they're wasting time, so I decide to not be one of them. Instead I quickly decide what is useful and do that.
Or at least, that's how I originally saw it. While anger does bring out alpha in some cases, it has to be empowering anger. Heck, it doesn't even have to be anger at all, as I've later realized.
What I've discovered is that alpha is control. It's not even that control is a part of alpha, but rather the core of it. Everything else appears to be a result of it.
Alpha is deeply related to flow in that both are states of optimal performance, but in some ways they are also different. Namely, flow seems to be a balanced mix of focused and diffuse, but alpha is mostly focused. It could be said that it's a specific type of flow, or more specifically a subtype.
I've been able to cultivate alpha without using anger all that much. Originally the main way of "going into alpha" involved wasting lots of time, then becoming angry at how useless that is.
Working hard also seems to result in alpha, but not always. It seems that simply forcing myself can result in either alpha or emotional resistance, depending on something other than my actual will.
About 3-4 days ago I caught myself wasting time once more. Gaming as usual, but with a game that I didn't even particularly like, namely the co-op mode of Starcraft II.
I had a couple theories of why I keep reaching that point, one of which was surprising. That is, "what if gaming itself isn't a problem, as long as the games I play are emotionally rewarding?"
The idea behind this theory is that when I waste time I'm serving some kind of emotional need. A need which is being served based on how much I care about what I do. Thus, it would logically follow that boring activities fulfill the need less and so, take more time. Given enough time spent in a boring manner, exhaustion is sure to follow.
How this relates to alpha is that alpha is the opposite of how I feel when I'm wasting time. When I'm in alpha, time matters a lot more and so I waste less of it. Thus, to get out of doing boring things is to transition toward alpha.
Throughout those few days my head has been working on this problem in the background, until tonight I reached a breakthrough of sorts.
It being, "If I consciously decide to become more productive, it takes me around 3 days to change."
By itself that's not all so surprising. What piqued my interest, though, is that I began to think about the exact mechanics of it. If it takes me a certain amount of time, then what exactly is giving the effect? Clearly it's not something too simple, otherwise it would take less time. It has to be mental restructuring of some kind.
Thinking further, I understood that this change is based on willpower somehow. I do not automatically go into alpha over time, but as a result of some conscious choice.
I'm having a hard time thinking of putting that choice into words right now, but I'll try regardless.
In essence, I feel the choice is something like "deciding to prioritize" or perhaps "valuing results over convenience". Whatever the case, it does require actually doing something, rather than just forcing myself to be serious.
For instance, what I've noticed is that I tend to end up in alpha when I'm feeling somewhat bad. Sleep deprivation is a poor way to achieve this, unless I'm missing no more than 2 hours of the required 8.
Having mild diseases like coughing or a runny nose can also help, although again it has to be something that doesn't turn off my thinking.
So basically, it seems like alpha is a result of responding to stress by taking control? Something like it, perhaps. I'm not entirely sure.
One strange thing this makes me think of is the effect of exercise.
Exercise results in stress. If the difficulty is right, overcoming this stress is a possible conscious choice. Thus, exercising when I don't particularly feel like doing anything might well be a way to force myself into alpha.
Endurance training like running doesn't seem to do much for alpha, although it improves quality of life in the longer term.
Strength training like push-ups seems to have a major effect. I somewhat feel like it has something to do with shoulders, because simply pushing them back has improved my energy on several occasions.
Push-ups naturally push shoulders back, hence forcing a more dominant posture - likely a factor that promotes alpha.
That said, although push-ups are an excellent way and pushing shoulders back might be useful, it is not strictly necessary. Even light aerobics can result in alpha if it involves perception and control.
As an example, there is a pair of moves for dropping to the ground and getting up in a moment.
The steps for dropping are, put one foot back, bend it at the knee, then roll onto your back. If done right, there is no hard crash and so no pain either. Doing it somewhat suboptimally results in feet flying up to mitigate the blow. If that happens, the roll was too fast.
Getting up requires first rolling further toward the upper back, then switching directions while keeping your body curved. The result is basically rolling onto your feet, but it has to be done very fast. Those with more experience than me effectively jump onto their feet.
If I do it too slowly, I fall back down, so speed is clearly a huge factor.
Doing those two exercises slowly is a good way to test control. I typically do them on a harsh surface such as a stone floor, with no ill effects or pain anywhere. If done right a couple of times, the feeling of control turns into perception of your own body. This perception silences out the noise in my head and so allows me to focus on whatever I want in the near future. Thus, alpha.